I remember pretty well the time I smoked my first cigarette. It was during my twelfth standard holidays. I told my mother that I wanted to stay over at a friend's place for the night. She was quite suspicious that I was upto something and vehemently denied me permission. Well, my parents had been having doubts for a long time that I used to smoke because by a freakish act of nature, my lips had always been black for as long as I can remember. My mother told me that she was not going to allow me to stay out and indulge in smoking and drinking. The funny part about all this is that I used to scold my friends if any of them smoked and I had never ever smoked a single cigarette. This vocal display of their doubts blew me over the top. I shouted at her and left in a huff. In a place called Kumalankottai on the way to my school, I met up with my friend and told him that I was going to start smoking. He told me that I need not do this shit, but I was adamant. We bought a cigarette and I was not able to light it at all. Ha ha ha.. I can remember it so clearly that it is tough to believe that it happened almost six years back. When the cigarette was finally lit, I took a few puffs and broke into uncontrollable fits of coughing. I had fever for the next few days. lol.. And the rest is history. I have been a heavy smoker for the past six years with a minimum of 15 - 20 cigarettes each day. Though I have tried to stop smoking, I have never been able to last more than a day.
The first time, alcohol entered my body, was again during my twelfth holidays when my friends and I went on a trip to Kodiveri, (the fateful place where I broke my leg) with a few seniors in a Gypsy. I drank a mini beer and was disgusted with the taste. I felt nothing at all and wondered what was so great about alcohol. Again, the rest is history.
For the past two years, I tend to go over the limit when I drink and when that happens, I raise hell. It is a pretty torturous experience for the people who have the bad luck of giving me company. It happened again yesterday and it hurts a lot to know that I am not able to control myself when I am drunk. I do not think it appropriate that I should continue drinking. Of course, I can keep within my limits, but I am bound to cross them at some point of time and I do not want to be a pain in the ass for my partners at that point of time. So I guess that the best option would be opt out of drinking altogether. I do not hesitate to say that I have had a lot of fun while and after drinking, but the best thing to do now is to abstain from it altogether.
Smoking - I did decide to quit it in the morning, but I am having second thoughts about it now. Let us see what happens. Time will tell.
What is success?
The definition of success from the point of view of the society would probably be the following: Getting a nice income, providing for one's family and the absence of deficit of things that are within your reach. Though I feel that this definition is bullshit, it makes sense in a perverted way because the primary goal of society is to ensure its own advancement as a collective organism irrespective of the well-being of its constituent organisms.
It is not surprising that the general public adheres to this definition of success, because over time, the views of the public become the views of the society. Well, if society is an organism, what guides and directs it? The whims and fancies of an elite few. What is the eccentricity of a powerful man becomes the mimicked normal character of a common man because he believes,
it is that very eccentricity which has vested power in the hands of that powerful man. What common man fails to realize is the role of hard work and intellect which actually vested power in the hands of the elite. People tend to have a "one-sided", "copied" view of life and this will ultimately lead to shambles and destruction on a large scale, which I predict will happen in the next few decades. It is during this time, I believe, there will be a revolution in all fronts - cultural, economic and social. The outcome of this revolution, I am not clairvoyant or intelligent enough to predict or guess, but I hope that it will be positive and for the best.
Enough of that diversion. Getting back to the topic, I would define success as doing what you want, whether you win or lose, which is quite relative. This definition is much broader than the previous one which is a specific case of the current one. This broader view also enables the individual to break free from the shackles of society, because the society always enforces the existence of the very rich and the very poor with no middle ground. The humanitarian approach dictates that this is downright cruel.
Another diversion. Decentralized control is always beneficial to groups because it enables various members of the group to behave, learn and evolve in their own way which has proved to be the best mechanism for survival over millions of years. Centralized control, as is the case in today's society, leads the whole group towards a path which may be right or wrong, and which may result in utter annihilation in course of time. It also promotes the welfare of the controlling authority even at the cost of other members of the group which does not strike me as the best mechanism for group survival in today's world.
I've got some work pending, and I will continue further on the media and other topics in my next post.
Not a day passes by, when my friends and I feel bad that our college lives ended as soon as it started. It all seems to be in the distant past. No matter what we did, and what I wrote previously, I must confess, that the best and the most fun-filled part of my life till now has been my college life, and I believe it will be so in the years to come as well. I met some of the best friends of my life here. They have been with me through ups and downs. Truthfully, all of us feel that we came out as "men" when we left college. We hurt a lot of people (physically and mentally), and we got hurt by a lot of people (mentally only ;-)). We did a lot of good things that few people know about, and a few bad things that everyone knows about. But in the end, the good memories overwhelm the bad ones and what we gained far outweighs what we lost.
I was well known for my carelessness. (Please note the use of the word "was" -> hopefully I have changed now.. ;-) ). The day of the twelfth standard results came. I went to school and checked the result. It was 200, 200, 199, 188 (I am not sure about the order of the first three but I think 188 came after these three.) I was shocked. I looked up and down and made sure that I was looking at my entry only. Sadly, it was mine. I had lost 12 marks in Maths which meant I was going to lose 6 marks in my cut-off. My entrance mark was around 88 or 89, I think. That meant I had a very low cut-off, at least by my standards back then. I was quite broke and did not know what to do. I had high hopes of getting into Anna University, and all of that seemed a distant possibility. When the counseling schedules came, I was scheduled to attend on the morning of the second day. (When I had applied for the xerox of my Maths paper, I found out that I had copied the question wrongly from the question paper for two sums. :-D)
My center was GCT, Coimbatore. My mother was among the first batch of EEE students there, and a lot of people, lab attenders and professors remembered her well. Anyway, on the night before the second day, my family and I put up in a hotel in Coimbatore. We were checking the availability of seats online, and I was dejected to find that a lot of good colleges did not have any seats left. My mother had told me long back that SSN was growing well and it was a really good college. We could not see how many seats were left here because of the shitty Internet facilities back then. Also, I was very particular that I wanted to take up Computer Science and nothing else. I cried that night with dreams broken and my future uncertain. Karunya seemed to be the last place if everything else failed and I was talking to my father about that. My father, however, was livid with rage because I had not lived up to his expectations and refused to pay any donations to let me join a college.
The next day, I did get my seat at SSN. When I came out, I met a lean guy who had come up after me. We found out that we were not only going to be college mates, but department mates as well. He was from Salem. We went for the medical check-up. My identification mark was a mole just below my right chest and the doctor told me take off my shirt to check it. A girl was already inside and I was kind of embarrassed. Anyway, after the girl left, all the formalities were over, and I came out a very happy boy. I said good bye to my department mate and made for home. That fellow is none other than J. Ashok Singh Abraham (JASA, Aaaya, Hero of SSN looking for a heroine). When I came back, I got a call from my school mate. He was also going to be my department mate. That was V. Venkatraman (Ice). I also got another call from my long-time class mate in school telling me that he had taken ECE in the same college. That was Navin. C. We were all excited and started making plans.
I told my parents that I needed a new computer because my old one was quite worn out. There was a huge ruckus because my father refused initially. I made quite a scene and I finally got one the day before I left for Chennai. I did not know what to take with me because it was my first time in the hostel. My mother, sister and I left by train the day before the college opened. A few of my friends came to the railway station to send us off. I cried, but did not know why. I stopped soon, but did not know how. We put up at my grandparents' place in Ambattur, and the next morning we left in an Omni van taking a bed, my other grandfather's military trunk box, my computer, buckets, blankets and the like. We came to the hostel and I found Jasa, Ice and the rest of the guys waiting there. I got a lot of advice from all my elders and we left for the inauguration function. Everything was so colourful all around me ( ;-) ). I found out that none of the guys I knew initially and I were in the same class. Anyway, I felt it would be good to meet up with some new people as well. After the inauguration, my grandparents, my mother and my sister left, and I went to the humanities block. I searched around for my class for some time. A little bit later, I found it on the first floor. With a deep breath, I entered 'B' section.
I came across this small passage when I was reading the true story behind a recent film called "The Soloist". I liked it a lot and thought I would share it with everyone...
SUCCESS
My friend asked me a question
I could not readily answer.
"Why do people who lie and cheat
Always seem to do better in life
Than people who try to do the right thing?"
A philosophical answer would not do;
She needed a practical response.
A theological answer would not do;
She already knew what that was.
We examined a specific case that troubled her.
An employee was told to fake product test results,
If he lied, people might be harmed.
He could not lie so he was fired.
Someone else faked the results;
The product was made.
The company is successful;
The former employee is bitter and destitute.
Her question to me:
"Why was evil rewarded and good punished?"
She wasn't satisfied with the standard answer:
"The case isn't over yet;
We don't know the final outcome."
It wasn't the final outcome she cared about.
"Why did doing the right thing
Produce such bad results?"
And more importantly,
"Why does that always seem to be the case?"
I couldn't give her a quick response
But her questions made me wonder.
Is apparent success true success?
Is it incorrect for me to think
That outward and inner success could be different?
Is it really true that the pain of doing right
Ultimately prevails over the ease of doing wrong?
How long will it take for the fired employee to believe
That what he did - in the end - was best for him?
What if he never believes that it was best?
I can listen to quick, standard answers:
Doing the right thing is always right.
Without suffering you can't experience true joy.
Striving is the essence of life.
You can only gain after you experience pain.
Everything always works out in the end.
Yes, I know that getting to the end that matters,
But how I get there matters most.
I have learned
The quick, standard answers are true
But they don't ease the day-to-day struggle.
They don't give me all the help I need to live my life,
For living life is no simple matter.
I'm just beginning to understand the adage
"Wisdom comes with age."
A successful life
Always incorporates good and evil,
And in the struggle
Sometimes evil seems to prevail.
But while I'm in the midst of the struggle
I cannot say that evil has won.
Only when I cross the bridge to the other side
Of the conflict can I call the results.
Only after I have experienced the entire event
Can I say which side has won.
That takes time -
Sometimes a lifetime.
So, what are your thoughts on this passage?
One of my favourite songs from Good Charlotte.. The Chronicles of Life and Death..
You come in cold
You're covered in blood
They're all so happy you've arrived
The doctor cuts your cord
He hands you to your mom
She sets you free into this life
And where do you go?
With no destination, no map to guide you
Wouldn’t you know
That it doesn’t matter, we all end up the same
These are the chronicles of life and death
And everything between
These are the stories of our lives as fictional as they may seem
You come in this world
And you go out just the same
Today could be the best day of your life
And money talks, in this world, that's what idiots will say
But you'll find out, that this world
Is just an idiot's parade
Before you go
You've got some questions, and you want answers
But now you're old, cold, covered in blood
Right back to where you started from
These are the chronicles of life and death
And everything between
These are the stories of our lives as fictional as they may seem
You come in this world
And you go out just the same
Today could be the worst day of your life
But these are the chronicles of life and death
And everything between
These are the stories of our lives as fictional as they may seem
You come in this world
And you go out just the same
Today could be the best day of
Today could be the worst day of
Today could be the last day of
Your life
It’s your life
Your life
I felt that my blog was getting kind of all melancholic... I have decided to lighten things up a bit...
I think everyone has heard a lot of jokes about English being spoken wrongly. But I feel that the following incidents have taken it to a whole new level. And as far as general knowledge is concerned, well.......never mind.... Here are some true funny moments that happened back in college..
(LEGEND: Actually intended meanings are enclosed in brackets and italicized)
SIVA KUMAR:
INCIDENT #1:
He went to the airport to book a ticket to Mumbai. Luckily, Varun went with him and so I treat you to this incident:
Siva : Yesterday, I want to went to Mumbai. (Tomorrow, I want to go to Mumbai)
Lady At The Counter : What?
Siva : How many tickets was you gave? (How many tickets do you have?)
Lady At The Counter : Sir, please... enaku tamil theriyum...
INCIDENT #2:
GRAPE :-> Siva's spelling for "giraffe"
THE MAN BEHIND ALL THIS:
2. KAIPULLA
INCIDENT #1:
He saw the Taj Mahal for the first time during the final year tour.. and exclaimed:
"Cha..Machi... Akbar enna scena taj mahala noor jahanuku katti irukaaru.. wow da...I love Taj Mahal da.. Jai Hind!!!!"
INCIDENT #2:
LG received a message from Kaipula...
I have don't money. I am hungrying for two days. Need some cash da
(I don't have money. I have been hungry for two days)
THE MAN BEHIND ALL THIS:
3. KARTHIK
INCIDENT #1:
Serious advice from siva to karthik.....
Siva : Dai mapila...unaku English romba worsta iruku..ethavathu SPEAKEN english class ku poda
Karthik : dai..athu speaken english illa da.. SPOKING english....
INCIDENT #2:
During the L&T interview,
HR : What's your area of interest?
Karthik : TAMBARAM
THE MAN BEHIND ALL THIS:
3. RAJ ASHWIN KARTHIK
INCIDENT #1:
During HCL Interview when he was a bit tense,
HR : Can you tell me five south indian languages?
Saani : Yeah, my pleasure. Tamil, KERALA, Telugu, KARNATAKA, SOUTH INDIA
INCIDENT #2:
Motta got a message from someone asking where he was, and the following is an excerpt from what followed:
Motta : I has been ating under the hotel of sherly for the two hours (I have been eating in hotel sherly for the past two hours)
Saani : Dai loose.. athu "under the hotel of sherly" illa da.. "below the hotel of sherly" da
Motta : Scene da mapila.. english la kalakara po..
Saani : Vidu da...ithuku thaan cbse eduthu padikanumnukarathu...
MOTTAINCIDENT #3:
This happened quite recently in Bangalore where he was on a girl-hunting spree at HCL. Here is how he let a girl know that he had a crush on her.
Saani : Hi... I have been crushing under...sorry..sorry...below you for many days. (I have been having a crush on you for many days)
THE MAN BEHIND ALL THIS:
4. ANAND (BIO-MEDICAL)
He stayed with us at Kodambakkam for the past few months, and we have grown tired of his singing romantic songs into the headphone to some poor girl at the other end. If you stop this nonsense, or at least, keep your voice down, I will remove the part about you.. :P
INCIDENT #1:
His classmate teased him that he did not know English. He spent a full night learning all the basic English sentences and grammar from me. The next morning, he got a call from that girl, and we all sat around him to see how well he talked. The first sentence....
"Hi, why are you?" (Hi, how are you?)
INCIDENT #2:
He became a serious paid blogger recently. Here is the first line of his first post...
Have you ever heard of quality Las Vegas at cheap rates?
(Have you ever heard of quality apartments in Las Vegas at cheap rates?)
THE MAN BEHIND ALL THIS:
5. JASA
INCIDENT #1:
Jasa was trying to pick up a girl during the first semester by messaging her. He decided to send something romantic and impress her. Here is the poem he wrote:
Jasa : Sun is settING.
Roses are shrinkING.
Stars are shinING.
Its time to say good evenING.
Reply : Stop MessagING.
THE MAN BEHIND THIS:
Special thanks to Motta and LG for recollecting all these golden moments, and guiding me throughout this post. Thanks motta..you're a sport...
A simple song I wrote with a simple tune some time back.. lol.. Was reminded of it now.. Thought I would post it to help people who are making up after a fight with their loved ones...lol.. use it at your own risk..
I make a million mistakes.
Well, I'm at fault.
But my love isn't fake.
It isn't all salt.
Please forgive me.
I could not see
That I was wrong.
That's why I'm singing this song...
The sky may crash down on me.
The sea may wash over me.
The wind may blow me away.
But my love is here to stay.
Sometimes anger blinds me.
Well, I'm at fault.
But you're my destiny.
Keep me in your vault.
Try to understand me.
I'm sorry, love,
I did not see.
That's why I'm singing this song...
The fire may burn me down.
Death may take my crown.
The years may make me gray.
But my love is here to stay.
Let me know if you like it, or if it helped you in some way.. ;-) lol
Been a long time since my last post.. And this has been the standard first line for most of my previous posts during the past year. lol.. Guess it cannot be helped. I was thinking of putting up this post yesterday, but work and tiredness overcame my determination. At around one in the morning yesterday, a friend and I were talking about the influence of globalization on India. Then came up an interesting anecdote from Dr. Kamal Haasan, regarding culture. This was related to the controversy surrounding the naming of his film, Virumaandi. Anyway, the part of his speech that I would like to highlight is: "Culture is something that people change whenever they want. A hundred years ago, Sati(burning widows along with their husbands) was part of our culture. But it is not now." I agreed with his version of culture for a few hours before I started thinking on my own lines. My line of reasoning regarding culture is: "Culture represents the level of understanding by each society of its environment, and symbolises the manners and customs that the members of the society feel that they should follow in order to maximize their collective chances of survival and propagation." I do not know whether anyone else has thought on the same lines. But personally, I feel that this is the appropriate meaning of culture in all possible contexts.
I admit that Indian culture does have its flaws. Initially, women do not seem to have been given much freedom. But the crucial fact that I would like to point out is, women were not given freedom in other cultures as well. This is something that most of us miss. My friend told me another piece of information as well. In the 1950s, there were only three countries in the world that gave voting rights to women, and India was one of them. Most of the readers of my blog are people well-known to me, and are in and around my age group. So, please take this as a personal request - DO NOT JUST FIND FAULTS WITH OUR CULTURE, TAKE STEPS TO CORRECT THEM AS WELL. NOTHING IN THIS WORLD IS PERFECT, AND WE ARE STILL ON THAT LONG ROAD TO PERFECTION.
Then came the discussion about free sex and the like. It seems that a lot of youngsters today are receptive towards the idea and find no fault in following it. I was quite sceptic about it from the minute I heard the term, and decided to do some research. I found that Western countries were very much like us in the beginning, and gradually adopted these ideas. I also discovered that the family structure in these countries was quite broken down, and the level of commitment between spouses was very low. There are so many divorces, break-ups and remarriages that children are affected a lot. It is not surprising that the rates of depression, suicides and drugs are quite high in these countries. This is what the idea of free sex, and the lack of commitment towards a proper marriage give rise to. I know that our elders tell us that a lot of things that we see in English movies and television are wrong, because those things do NOT adhere to our culture. This is where most of our elders are at fault because they do not give us a proper reason to stick to our culture. Maybe, they feel that they need not give us a proper explanation, or they do not know it themselves. Gradually, we youngsters start rebelling against our culture because the generation of today does not like to limit itself without a proper reason. Well, let me tell you why I feel that many aspects of our culture are far superior to the ones found in other cultures.
Indian culture, as a whole, rests on the foundation of strong family ties and religion. Since religion is a controversial topic which may give rise to too many unnecessary arguments, discussions and disagreements, I will drop it, and take up the former. Strong family ties can come only if we marry with the consent of our relatives and parents, or if you and your spouse decide to stick together for the rest of your lives. With free sex and frequent switching of spouses, you prove yourself to be a person who does not know how to manage a relationship, or to be an unstable hand. We, Indians, care for our children a lot, and support them for as long as possible, unlike Western countries, where, in most families a child is on his own after teenage, and most elder people there spend their last days in old age homes. I believe these two facts alone are sufficient to indicate the closeness that the members of a family have between them. Would you keep your mom and dad with you when they are old, care for them like they cared for you when you were young and be by their side when they pass away, or send them away to an old age home and just turn up for their funeral? This is where we differ. This is where the ethics and things that our elders teach us in our younger days come into play. The problem is that no one explains things properly so that we understand what we are doing, instead of blindly following a few teachings. The practices that Western countries follow will only lead to decline in family ties, lack of commitment, depression and higher suicide rates.
I am not against love and divorce. Each person must be given the right to choose his or her spouse. And it is natural that things do not work out sometimes. What I am against is blindly falling in love, just because having a girlfriend or boyfriend is the in-thing. The relationship falls apart in a short period of time, and the couple break up. After that, the boy and the girl start looking for other partners with the same mindset, and the vicious cycle continues. There are other cases where one dumps the other for some reason or the other. Please give your partner a chance - well, many chances. After all, you may have been forgiven a lot of times by people around you for the faults that you have made. Do not give up so easily on the one who loves you. Choose your partner wisely, and make sure you stick with that partner till your last breath. This way, your children will grow up in a secure environment, and they can focus on coming up in life instead of wondering what their mother and father are going to fight about that evening. I think that those who may have been confused by my perspective on culture can see things in a better light now. Our culture paves the way for the betterment of the individual in subtle ways that are not so evident. Be yourself. Do not lose your identity.
A society does not stand on its own. Each person contributes some part, and in the well-being of the whole lies the well-being of the individual, and vice-versa. It is a cycle, and you have to start at some point to get the whole thing going. If people cheat you just because you are good and forgiving, do not change yourself just because you have met a few bad eggs. I have this habit of going out of my way to help others. One of my close friends reprimands me a lot for this, and I can still hear her scoldings as I am typing. She used to tell me again and again that charity begins at home. I agree with her. But if all of us place our own needs above the needs of others ALL THE TIME, we would soon rot away into nothingness. There are times when we must sacrifice our desires and well-being for the sake of others. (Well, Ms. A, if you are reading this post now, I know that you will scold me for giving supposedly bad advice to others as well.. :P.. podinga.. :P) Most of you are aware of the saying: "It does not matter how long you have lived, but how well you have lived." I would like to rephrase it and state in my own words: "It does not matter how happy you are when you are alive, but how happy you are when you die." I believe that this captures the essence of Indian culture, where we are taught to complete our duties to our parents, children, spouse and the society before we die. I have been to a few mournings in Chennai, and the most striking aspect that stood out was the lack of people there. Even the neighbours did not seem to spend much time with the affected family. Everyone just paid a visit and moved on instead of staying back and lending a helping hand. This was in stark contrast to the other parts of Tamil Nadu where your neighbours play the pivotal role in organizing all parts of the funeral and the ceremonies that follow it. Frankly, how many of you know all your neighbours well? This is what Western culture is all about - keeping to yourself and not giving a damn about others. We are at the cross-roads now, and we youngsters are going to determine the path that our country is going to take in the coming years. Take your decision wisely, for the future of our country rests in our hands.
Even if one of you change your attitude on reading this post, that is enough for me. I will feel happy that all these words have not been in vain.
[P.S. This is to all the assholes who keep bugging me for link exchanges. I do not put links to other people's blogs except for the ones that I know personally, and I am not going to check out your posts on the miracle drug that elongates your manhood by 6 inches for only $1. So stop pestering me, and go fuck yourself.)
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